glasslogic: (Got Zombies?)
[personal profile] glasslogic
title: Silver Bullet Blues
author:  [livejournal.com profile] glasslogic
artist:  [livejournal.com profile] yanyann
wordcount: 68k
fandom: SPN
pairing: Sam/Dean
rating: NC-17
warning: Non-con, dub-con, wincest, language. Posted for the SPN J2 BB
disclaimer: I have no rights to any of the copyrighted materials within this fic, and make no profit from it.
summary: Sam's life at Stanford is falling apart. One day it's clear skies ahead, the next his fiancée is dead in an apartment fire and he doesn't know how to even start picking up the pieces. The tragedy brings his estranged father back into his life, only for John to vanish again weeks later, gunned down on a street corner halfway across the country. Security footage shows the crime, but Sam doesn't understand how it happened and the search for answers will take him far from the California coast as he uncovers family secrets and buried lies -- learning the hard way that some doors you open really should have stayed shut.



author's notes: The first thing I must do is offer my profound apologies to anyone who has been waiting for this story. It's been a comedy of errors (I hear some of them might actually be funny in about a decade) since about mid-June, and every time something seemed to be going right, guaranteed on its heels something was about to go disastrously wrong. The most recent were LJ eating my formatting for 11 sections of the story twice, and then a 200 gallon salt water aquarium... I think the correct term is "failed." I don't know. Did you know you can buy wet dry vacs at 3 am at Walmart? They needed a new floor anyway. Not sure they needed new drywall though. I wasn't ignoring those of you who have been gently poking, I was just doing everything I could to get the damn thing up.

In honor of my having no idea what was going on with LJ, this fic is being hosted at A03 instead. If you have trouble with the site (it always locked my computer up for a minute) let me know and I'll see what I can do. 

I also need to thank [livejournal.com profile] yanyann for the great art! She's had her own RL stuff going on lately, but I think we're finally all well acquitted of our duties *wryly* You guys should stop by and give her love!

This fic might never have happened except for the generous help of the people below who gave me hours of advice and support. There's just a point where you can't track your own writing anymore. I think I hit that wall around page 2 *grins* As always, all errors are squarely on me. These guys made a lot of suggestions, and I appreciated every one! 

[livejournal.com profile] saraid[livejournal.com profile] elumir_calemmir[livejournal.com profile] ruby_jelly[livejournal.com profile] summerholt, and [livejournal.com profile] acollapsngdream were all absolutely amazing to work with on this project. I,uh, actually forgot about this fic entirely for about 6 weeks (see above note) and so missed the window I promised to hand it out for betaing in. It's a little lengthy, and all of these guys just jumped in to help. I honestly don't have words to really express how grateful I am, but I am more than happy to return the favor if they need it. Or art. I do that too *HUGS* 

[livejournal.com profile] elusive_life_77 My dear friend, co-mod on the Undead Big Bang, and zombie-killing buddy helped prop me up when I realized exactly what I'd signed myself up for again. Of course, then she immediately snuck out through a window, abandoning me with my misery! She said something about getting married, but I think it was just an excuse *loftily*

[livejournal.com profile] vodou_blue Vodou gets honorable mention! She's helped with the grammar on every long fic I've done and agreed to help out with this one too. Sadly, her schedule usually precludes last minute stuff so I just ran out of time *winces* 

This has been somewhat long winded, but I just want to close by mentioning my gratitude to Wendy, one of the SPN J2 BB mods. She has been generously patient with the scheduling errors and I was very grateful for her support and head pats. There was enough yelling going on in the real world *wryly*

Anyone who helped me out and I haven't mentioned, feel free to remind me so I can add you to the list!
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woohoo!

Date: 2012-08-03 09:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saraid.livejournal.com
First comment! :D. You know I love it - there's even plenty of sex! It was great fun (if exhausting) working with you, but it didn't need much help :)

Now we start on mine *ulp*

Ooo, and the *ahem*sequel*ahem* to this one!

*ducks*

Really happy for you
*hugs*
Edited Date: 2012-08-03 09:07 am (UTC)

Re: woohoo!

Date: 2012-08-10 02:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
Hi! FINALLY -- a few free minutes to answer comments! *grins* RL is what stacks up when you ignore it all for a few days *dryly* I'm glad you had a good time, I had a blast working together, and I'm sure we can whip the story into shape in no time!

*looks innocent, gets out the red pens*

<3

Date: 2012-08-03 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abeautifullie3.livejournal.com
Okay, umm, gotta ask before I go download this PDF...did the fish survive? *snort* Alright, so not really what I was going to ask, though I hope they did. Anyway, due to your icon, I have to ask: are there zombies in this? 'cus I currently don't have zombies, and I kinda-sorta-totally don't WANT 'em, so just checking before I go stumbling upon them and you end up with me somehow inexplicably sleeping in your bed for a week.

Date: 2012-08-03 09:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
Awwwww... Uh -- most of the fish? At last count anyways. I'm just glad I finally got to come home *shifty*

No zombies! Promise. Other than me because I haven't slept in a week, or if I have my brain didn't notice. I picked the icon because the 2012 Undead Big Bang is kicking off soon! As in, as soon as I _sleep_. So maybe Monday *grins*

I hope you enjoy it!

Date: 2012-08-03 09:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ngc-lover.livejournal.com
Yay finally! ;-) Gonna go read now and will leave a comment again at the end.Really looking forward to it!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry about the delay <3

Date: 2012-08-03 09:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herminekurotowa.livejournal.com
And there's another great story, I'm sure. Damn, I have to download it as I'm off to vacations. But who needs vacations when there's no time for reading fanfics? *sighs*

Date: 2012-08-10 03:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
Awwwww, I hope you were able to bring it along! And yeah -- what kind of vacations don't let you sprawl out and do some reading?? <3

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Date: 2012-08-03 10:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cassiopeia7.livejournal.com
Yay, you posted!! Sorry for all the nastiness, but with all that laboring to produce, this is going to be an EPIC fic!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
It was certainly an epic production *dryly* I do hope you enjoyed it *hugs*

Date: 2012-08-03 11:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jespretender.livejournal.com
This looks amazing!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I hope you enjoyed it! <3

Date: 2012-08-03 01:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inanna-maat.livejournal.com
FINALLY!!!! I didn´t know it was so HARD to post it!!! I´ll come back when I read it... don´t know WHEN exactly xDDDDD *hugs*

Date: 2012-08-10 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I completely sympathize *grins* And it was a total beast to get up! ARGH!!! Done now, well, for at least a week until I put the revisions in *groans* But that's then, and this is now and now I'm still enjoying having it off my hands *firmly*

*HUGS* I hope your summer is awesome!!!! <3

Date: 2012-08-03 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anths-girl.livejournal.com
YAY! *does happy dance* It's finally here! I just wanna apologize for having been so...persistent about it (aka annoying?!). But yeah...when I saw 'Glasslogic' and 'werewolves'...I kinda got loony! I LOVED The Cause Sanguine, so yep...can't wait for this! It sounds SOOO interesting!

Anyhoo, already downloaded it (thank goodness for AO3, eh?!) and I promise I'll comment when I've read it! But it might take a while - I wanna savour it! ;)

Date: 2012-08-10 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
Awww *grins* No problems, you were fine, I would have been poking around going "fic?" "fic?" too! This was, uh, really different from The Cause Sanguine, but I hope you enjoyed the story <3

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Date: 2012-08-03 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] legion11.livejournal.com
This story was great! As usually...you are just so good!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you enjoyed it, thank you! <3

Date: 2012-08-03 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ldyghst.livejournal.com
Snagging the pdf from AO3, my dear. :D Congrats on finishing!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
Thank you! It really didn't want to be posted *dryly* It fought and kicked and screamed until I finally hauled out the really long nails. I hope you enjoyed the fic! <3

Date: 2012-08-03 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lylithj2.livejournal.com
This looks great!
I'm reading yesterday's bb's and this is next!!!!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
*hugs* I hope you enjoyed it!

Date: 2012-08-03 08:19 pm (UTC)
meus_venator: (Sharp Teeth Jared)
From: [personal profile] meus_venator
Yeah! You're posted. * adds to reading list *
When my brain re-engages from posting mine I'll start reading again... that should be in a couple months I think! LOL
I'm sure you're experiencing the euphoria of posting too. What stress. WOW.
Congrats!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
YAY!!! I did! It only took for freaking ever! I saw yours up too *grins* As soon as I can clear my desk (possibly by shoving stuff into the floor) I'm all over it! Posting isn't supposed to be this bad, I have no idea what was going on with LJ. A03 is an even more miserable posting interface, but at least it doesn't usually eat the actual text (just all the formatting that makes it readable). <3

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Date: 2012-08-03 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] summerholt.livejournal.com
Congrats! It's up! You've worked so hard on it!
The ending is quite nice!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
You worked hard on it too *HUGS* Thank you so much! It did seem better in reread than it did initially, I think after I go back and clean a couple of spots it will stop irritating me *grins*

<3

Date: 2012-08-04 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dante-s-hell.livejournal.com
I haven't read any bigbangs in many years. I also haven't read much in the SPN fandom lately. But I read this one and I'm so very happy I did! I LOVED it! You did such a wonderful job with the boys' characterizations. And Bobby's, too. I also liked the hunt.

Just an all around great read!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
My reading has gone down quite a bit too *shifty* I blame the writing cycle. I'm really so pleased you enjoyed the fic! You should have been along for the first few rounds of drafts *grins* The characterization had to undergo some major overhauls a few times *winces* Thanks for commenting! <3

Date: 2012-08-04 12:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fourtenpm.livejournal.com
just finished reading, wow, stunning.
there is more if this story to come, right?

Date: 2012-08-10 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed the fic! No promises on a sequel yet. Sequels get me into trouble *wryly*

Date: 2012-08-04 03:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fedaykin-here.livejournal.com
Lovely story!! And I don't know how you do it but you have me asking aka begging for more!!! I want to know that Dean and Sam relationship will be able to recover and quite frankly, I want to know what happens next! lol....

Brilliant like always! Thanks so much for sharing this lovely piece with us!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Wanting to know what happens next seems to be popular *grins* I'm thinking about it, no promises at this point.

Date: 2012-08-04 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ngc-lover.livejournal.com
Back again.Just finished reading.Wow,but there's more right? Maybe not written, but in your head somewhere for the future? This feels like it can have a sequel, and we all know how good you are with sequels. . .but even if it never does, it's a great fic all on it's own! Well done! :-)

Date: 2012-08-10 03:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it! Yes, there's always tons more in my head for every story, it's just a matter of time and prioritizing. The last Fortress story and Undead Big Bang are my fic priorities before I do anything else *resigned* At least to draft stage. After that I'll have to see. <3

Date: 2012-08-04 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] minchout.livejournal.com
I really, really loved this.

Date: 2012-08-10 03:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks for commenting <3

Date: 2012-08-05 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thaddeusfavour.livejournal.com
Wow. Sadly, I can empathize with you over your "comedy of errorrs,", having had entire YEARS like that in the past, usually involving funerals, long-illnesses, and just plain horrible events of all kinds. So, you certainly have my understanding and best wishes for the fates to send some GOOD LUCK your way in the very near future!

It may help you to know that, upon seeing your name as author, you immediately made my heart leap with joy.

ANOTHER FIC BY GLASSLOGIC!" my heart caroled joyously! MY DAY IS MADE!

My brain interrupted with, but what's this with werewolves? No Dean-Demon or Vampires? Upon which, my heart bitch-slapped my brain and said, I DON'T CARE! IT'S BY GLASSLOGIC! I'M SO HAPPY I COULD JUST DIE! My brain said, "Please don't! I'm on your side! I'll read it to you!" YAYZ! YOU MAY BEGIN NOW, AFTER YOU LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR THE AUTHOR FOR ME.

Thus, this message, in which my heart explains how very, very happy it is to merely BEGIN the reading of your story, and how you made it's day just by the mere existence of this story in the universe. I'm sure it'll be even happier after it's actually read this story, or rather, allowed Brain to do the reading to it.

Thank you!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
It's hard to believe the universe is impartially hostile when those runs of ill luck come up! I think it started around the second week of June and has just been a downhill sled ride ever since *dryly* Though I might be seeing a break in the clouds. I hope you are enjoying better fortune at the moment!

I'm glad you've enjoyed my past work that much *grins* I hope this story was at least diverting for you! It wasn't the story I had intended to write, but that's another loooooooooong explanation by itself so I'll just be sullen about it and grumble in vague terms.

I'm so sorry to disappoint your brain *crushed* Please assure it that I will try to include more fangs in the future. No promises though, after how long it took me to get Crossroads of Eden out I'm not even comfortable promising people the sun is coming up tomorrow.
Edited Date: 2012-08-10 03:32 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-08-06 04:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] z3s-keep-going.livejournal.com
this is great!! i love this alternative version to a life the boys could've had...

Date: 2012-08-10 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed it! I do always seem to get dragged into the Canon AU's *grins*

Date: 2012-08-06 12:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gypsy-atavari.livejournal.com
Wow - loved this. I know it's bad cuz I just finished reading it but I hope you - later - go about and revisit the boys because these versions of them are fascinating. :-)

Date: 2012-08-10 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed the fic! I'm not ruling a sequel/timestamps out -- just not committing to doing one right now. Sequel promises get me in trouble *grins*

Date: 2012-08-06 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etrix.livejournal.com
I love how you write Sam and Dean in your stories. I mean, they're the characters we've come to know in Show, but they're also not. Dean's pretty dark and ruthless, and Sam's his season 1 self on overdrive.

Loved the hunt, btw. Was it Old Grey who survived? I bet it was--he seemed like a cagey beast (pun totally intended).

Enjoy your sleep.

Date: 2012-08-10 03:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
Sleeeeeeeeeeeppppppp....cooooooooommmmeee toooo meeee..... *grins* Apparently when you shove RL aside for a few days it piles up and attacks *dryly*

I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Characterization and dialogue are my favorite parts. I could write unbroken dialogue for hundreds and hundreds of pages, but I keep hearing I have to include other things too *sighs mistily*

He did seem to fit the type, didn't he? *grins* <3

Date: 2012-08-08 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deadflowers5.livejournal.com
Thanks for the AO3 link!

Date: 2012-08-10 03:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
You are very welcome! I hope you enjoyed the fic!

Date: 2012-08-11 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bellevue.livejournal.com
Really excellent job on this! I find raised-separately AUs so fascinating and this was a great imagining of the scenario; there were definite differences in the characters but they were very recognizable, and their whole process of discovering each other and their pasts was really interesting and engaging. (I was especially moved by that part where Dean dismisses Sam at Bobby's, as I could definitely see canon Dean doing something like that if he thought it would protect Sam. ;_; ) Also, well done on the exciting action and interesting cases, and I loved your take on Pamela's character!

Great work! Thank you for sharing it.

Date: 2012-08-21 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Sorry I'm so slow on the responding *wryly* It's just a... slow year. I don't think I have ever written Pamela Barnes before, her character was fairly amusing to work with and I'm glad she turned out well!

Date: 2012-08-12 11:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anths-girl.livejournal.com
Aaand it's me again! I finished the fic! And dude, I'll say it again...your genius writing-mind ASTOUNDS me! 'Cause it ISN'T anything like your other fics...but it's still great! And I just love how you always leave your stuff open-ended. Like there's always a possiblity of more...

I want to say, though, certain bits of this reminded me of one of my fave fics - Fetters of Fenrir, by Leonidaslion? Have you ever read that? I can totally recommend it!

I want to say THANKS for a great fic. I'm having a not-so-good time in real-life right now, so this was a VERY welcome and fun distraction. So THANK YOU for writing and posting it for us! You rock!

Date: 2012-08-21 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glasslogic.livejournal.com
Awww, thank you! Yeah, I have some kind of closure issue *resigned* it gets me into all kinds of literary trouble. I'm not familiar with that fic, but I've heard she's a fine writer. I'll have to remember to look it up, thanks! I'm sor sorry about your RL problems *HUGS* it seems to be just one of those years. <3
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